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FranFran
22091988
fox_alacf@hotmail.com

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♥ Lost Lasting Love
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Thursday, January 05, 2006 - 6:58 PM


i've gotta finish off my 3 articles later...Mr chen is our new CT.good and bad.Mr chen is a good teacher.
somethings that had happen has made me feel the greyest pt in my life.i've nv ever felt such misery in my entire life b4.i know i cant blame anyone but myself for all this misery...but i sometimes,i really wish that there's someone that can listen out to me.i tot i could get over it in 1 day's time,like the previous club momo incident.but i realised that this time,i could not.why?the previous time,there was no feelings involved...but this time,i can really really feel he pinch in my heart.sometimes,i wish i could jus die off so that i could be spared from all this misery.i dun wan to live everyday in this miserable state.Initially,i knew that this day wld come,but i dint expect that i would be hit so hard that leave me in such a bad state.neither did i expect that the blow wld be that great to me.I thought that i could jus shrug it off like the previous time...but for the time being,i jus pray hard that nothing wld happen.
I wish that i could bury myslef in the books and forget about this entire nightmare totally,but i realised that you,the monster in my nightmare jus refuse to let go of my mind,you jus seem to be stuck in my soul,and i seriously dunno how to shake you off...thx for screwing my life up...
like one of my friends said,why wld i nid frens like you?true,but sometimes,mayb its us my 'cannot bear to' disease starting to attack me again...i dunno why i did those stupid things,making myself like a slut,totally degraded myself...
I'm jus a big big failure,almost in everything i do.i do not succeed.i fail to judge who is good and bad,i fail to like the correct person.ended being cheated,mentally,physically and emotionally hurt...it really really hurt me so much that i think dying off might be a better option...it'll spare me all the agony, and heartache...
when then can i find someone who really love and cherish me?

++waiting to be loved++